i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
