Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize