I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
