we have officially mastered the walk of shame
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
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Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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