we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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