She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
