a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
