Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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