so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
