Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
