Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
