All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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