I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
