Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
