it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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