she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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