I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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