He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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