He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
