That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
