physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
