My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
