I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
