The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
