drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I want a musical about memes.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
