so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
