Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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