just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
