Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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