Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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