Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
