I look better un-naked...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
