Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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