We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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