lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
