I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Small penises have feelings too.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
