Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
