it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i think my cat just said my name.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
