I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
