Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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