I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
