I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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