Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
