um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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