It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
