I think my vagina is haunted
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
