I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
