how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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