If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
