she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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