wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
