My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
