i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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