That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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