How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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