So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
