Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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