Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
