she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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