I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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