the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This baby is an asshole
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Randomize
