there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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